Great post from Blogger Serendipity:
I Can’t Stay Mad at You (or CAN I?)
If you’ve betrayed me, lied to me, broken your promises, not been there when I needed you or sometimes, just not been there at all … I do remember. There are lots of permutations based on various combination of forgiving, forgetting (not) and grudge holding, including: I forgive you but I remember everything. No grudge – except I never want to see you again. I don’t hate you, but I do want you out of my life. Forever. Damage is damage. A sincere apology helps but I am unlikely to fully trust you after you have hurt me.
Do you hold grudges or do you believe in forgive and forget?
Not so simple, folks.
First of all, I absolutely believe in forgiveness, but forgetting? No, not happening. I remember everything. I may not remain angry about it, but I don’t forget, either. I keep an emotional tally. If you’ve betrayed me, lied to me, broken your promises, not been there when I needed you or sometimes, just not been there at all … I do remember. It’s not necessarily a grudge. I can forgive bad behavior, but I’m not stupid enough to let myself get whacked over and over. Once is a “heads up.” Twice gives you an asterisk and a footnote: “Not someone I can depend on.” The footnote is permanent.
Any number of combinations can be extrapolated from this, including:
- I may refuse to forgive or forget — and
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