Deafening silence


I have learnt what not to talk about – anything. Anything that matters.

If I discuss anything I am disagreeing or being challenging.

If I repeat something exactly as it was said to ensure I understood it correctly I am impossible to talk to because I always take comments literally.

If I state my point of view more than once I am going over old ground and have already said that.

“Did you …?” Have you …?” Annoyed eyes dart a look. Quick flash of anger crosses face. Lips pursed. Displeasure. No words spoken, but the message is clear “Just shut up”.

No longer allowed to speak, I have learned to back off, just shut up and walk away.

You can’t cause or get yourself into trouble by not saying anything.

I have learned it’s best to just shut up.

And the wall of silence and secrets and exclusion goes back up.

The roar of unspoken words. My silence becomes deafening.

Dead silence.

About dayanhadassah

✡MOT: I can worry about six things at once: Expert on 'what ifs' and worst-case scenarios: Aficionado of 'just in case': Kein Ayin Hara
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