I have learnt what not to talk about – anything. Anything that matters.
If I discuss anything I am disagreeing or being challenging.
If I repeat something exactly as it was said to ensure I understood it correctly I am impossible to talk to because I always take comments literally.
If I state my point of view more than once I am going over old ground and have already said that.
“Did you …?” Have you …?” Annoyed eyes dart a look. Quick flash of anger crosses face. Lips pursed. Displeasure. No words spoken, but the message is clear “Just shut up”.
No longer allowed to speak, I have learned to back off, just shut up and walk away.
You can’t cause or get yourself into trouble by not saying anything.
I have learned it’s best to just shut up.
And the wall of silence and secrets and exclusion goes back up.
The roar of unspoken words. My silence becomes deafening.